Am I… Back?

Dear reader,

Did you forget about me? You probably did, which is okay, because I disappeared again. Not only from my blog this time though, but from every social media. I stopped posting on Instagram, on YouTube… All that made me who I was. But I am here now, more convinced that ever to actually get back to it. So let me tell you a little story before promising you I’m not going anywhere this time.


Do I have an excuse? I don’t know. To be honest, I don’t really know what has been going on with me this past year. I know I suffered a lot when I moved into my first place back in December 2020. I know it took me almost eight months to actually feel comfortable there and see it like home. I know I lost myself along the way, somehow way deeper than I ever thought. I know having to say good bye to the best therapist I ever had wasn’t easy, and living without one has been terrible. I know a lot, yet I can’t actually explain why I’ve been living under the same panic attack since December.

Somehow I lost all of my good habits, all of my productivity and creativity. I stopped being me and became lazy. Not when it comes to my job, though, which is good, but when it comes to self-care, creating, reading… which is what makes me sad.

To stop this vicious circle, since I’m awfully bored and now hate being alone because I feel like I have nothing to do, I decided to come back on every single one of my socials. Therefor I’m back here, and no matter what I decide to do in the end, I agreed with myself to give it my all for the entire month of May. I truly believe I can re-learn some of my habits in an entire month and build a nice enough fondation to actually get better.

So… Here I am. I won’t lie, I haven’t read a lot recently. I’m not reading 10 books per month anymore. But I’m getting back to it and hopefully blogging and vlogging will make me want to read more. Maybe never as much as I used to, but more.

I hope you’ll be a tiny bit excited about this. I know I am. It’s going to be a big challenge, but I’m ready for it… Are you?

Love always,

Clara

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